Image: Jordan Sanchez Unsplash "Will you help me with my to-do list?" “Are you going to give me tips and tricks?” "Can't you just tell me what to do?" These are some of the questions I get asked when I tell people I'm a coach. Coaching is a word that is used in a lot of different ways — there can be sports coaches, voice coaches, and life coaches — to name a few. As you can imagine, they all do very different things! Coaching is also often confused with other modalities like therapy, consulting, teaching, counseling, or mentoring. However, it's distinct from all of them. The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as "Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. Coaches honor the client as the expert in his or her life and work and believe every client is creative, resourceful and whole." Coaching IS an equal partnership between the coach and the client, based on an open dialogue and a commitment to growth. Coaching is present and forward-focused, and engaged in finding the client's expertise about themselves. Through working with a coach, clients can develop self-awareness, look at the perspectives they hold, and embark on a supported journey of change. It's an opportunity to explore and ignite one's superpowers. Coaching IS NOT giving advice, taking the lead, or being the expert. I don't take clients through a predetermined program. We create change by getting curious about what is and isn’t working, focusing on strengths, and building self-awareness. Yes, we will likely look at your to-do list, your schedule, and your focus challenges, but we also get grounded in your values, needs, and goals. What Coaching IS: An equal partnership Present and future-focused An opportunity for greater self-awareness Focused on growth and action Supportive accountability Individualized for each client What Coaching IS NOT: Coaching is not therapy Coaching is not mentoring Coaching is not consulting Coaching is not counseling Coaching is not prescriptive It's not advice-giving To better understand how coaching differs from other learning modalities take a look at this document Coaching vs. Training from fellow coach Casey Moore. If you're new to coaching and unsure if it's right for you, take the free, quick Coachability Self-Test to determine if coaching is a fit for you at this time. If you like this post then you may like The Power of Envisioning Your Future. See you soon. If you’re ready to discover the power of coaching schedule a complimentary Clarity Call today.
Image: Jade Stephens Unsplash Have you ever developed mastery in a skill or subject and thought “Wow, I can't believe I can do this now!” Whether it’s learning French, mastering a martial art, baking the perfect sourdough loaf, or gaining a new job skill, expertise is an amazing feeling. But how did you get there? Through my coach training, I found that the journey from novice to expert is called The Four Stages of Competence. This concept was developed by Noel Burch at Gordon Training International in the ’70s and still rings true today — we go through four stages to achieve mastery of a new skill. These stages are: Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence (Ignorance) When we begin to learn a new skill, we often start from a state of unconscious incompetence. At this stage, we lack knowledge about the skill, and we may not even be aware of our lack of knowledge. The motto for this stage is "You don't know what you don't know.” Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence (Awareness) We now have some knowledge about our need for more skills. We are also conscious that there is much we need to learn before mastery is achieved. Stage 3: Conscious Competence (Learning) Through actively learning, we now know how to do the desired skill but it requires practice and effort. Stage 4: Unconscious Competence (Mastery) In this stage, the skill is now easy for us to perform and can be done unconsciously and without much effort. So how do these stages work? Think about learning to drive. We start with having no idea of the many rules and skills involved in driving. Then, we take drivers’ ed and start to understand how much there is to learn. When we’re first behind the wheel, our driving requires great effort and attention. As our experience grows, driving becomes second nature. I relate to these four stages of learning in many areas of my life. I love to paint with watercolors, for example, but even after many years, I feel that I am solidly in Stage 2, Conscious Incompetence. I marvel at others’ ability to paint with beauty and ease. How does this concept relate to coaching? Suppose you want to focus on greater health, and getting more sleep is at the top of your list. Stage 1: In the unconscious incompetence stage, you may be aware that you’re not feeling rested in the morning, but haven’t given much thought to the cause. Stage 2: In the conscious incompetence stage, you start to get educated about all the many factors that impact your sleep such as caffeine, morning and evening light, stress, and exercise. Stage 3: In the conscious competence stage you, begin to put this knowledge into action, trying out different strategies to improve your sleep and create better habits. Stage 4: In the unconscious competence stage, your new habits are now ingrained. When you have a poor night's sleep, you can review all that you know about your sleep to help get you back on track. Learning new skills and changing habits is a lifelong journey that may seem daunting initially, but even small changes can yield big results. The first step is developing awareness of the knowledge gap. That’s where coaching can help. My question for you: Is there an area of your life where you can’t seem to find traction? Is there a knowledge gap? Where could you get some education to start building your competence? If you like this post then you may like How to Hack your Brain with your Body. See you soon. Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
Image: Lili Popper Unsplash Kim came to coaching struggling to move forward on her new business. She had a big deadline in a few months, and she wasn’t making the progress she hoped for. She had been diagnosed with ADHD many years ago and had a history of struggling with deadlines. She often waited until the last minute to get things done, creating an exhausting dash to the finish line. Doubt and self-judgment surfaced whenever she thought of meeting this new deadline and she felt she was going in circles. Wanting to do things differently this time, she reached out for support. In our work together, we looked at her passion and sense of purpose for her new business. She expressed that meeting this deadline was a step toward growing her business and helping others through her work. We looked at how her ADHD and self-judgment were showing up in the situation and explored ways to boost her self-care. Talking through the challenges helped Kim get clear on the steps she needed to take to meet her deadline. Armed with new self-awareness, Kim created actions that broke the fuzzy parts of her big project into actionable steps. She was able to use the perspective of her “future self” as motivation for meeting smaller deadlines in the present. This set her up for success in meeting the larger goal. The excellent cognitive behavior-based podcast A Slight Change of Plans has an episode about exactly this idea called Your Future Self Needs Your Help Today. Kim’s example shows some of the challenges clients come to coaching with:
By focusing on strengths and goals, we build in strong motivation that’s based on the things you care about. With this new perspective you can:
If you like this post then you may like How I Fell For Coaching. See you soon. RESOURCE: A Slight Change of Plans podcast with Dr. Maya Shankar This is one of my favorite podcasts! It blends neuroscience, behavioral change, and storytelling. The episode Your Future Self Needs Your Help Today is all about using the motivation of your future self to get into action today. Names and identifying details have been changed for privacy. Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
Image: Corina Ardeleanu Unsplash Our bodies send us signals all the time, whether it's butterflies in the stomach or a racing heart. Often the last thing we want to do is listen. But as it turns out, listening to our bodies is one of the best things we can do for our well-being. Most of the time, our thinking occurs in the part of the brain that scientists call the Default Mode Network. This is our automatic thinking or ruminating — often about ourselves or our life situation. Research shows that when our automatic thinking is on, we are actively suppressing physical-sensory information. However, when we tap into our body sensations, we open up another way of relating to our experience, called the Experiential Mode. The neural imaging research of Prof. Norman Farb shows that being in a place of sensory intake helps people relate to their experience more flexibly. As he stated, it helps us see that “the perspective you are holding is just one of many options… being able to shift between two ways of perceiving a situation is a game-changer.” Being able to shift our perspective in this way is essential to coaching, and body awareness is one way we can create this opening for ourselves. Dr. Farb’s research subjects took an eight-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) class, but we can start with a simpler practice — a short (two-minute!) meditation with your phone or fitness tracker. If you want to be tech-free, sit in the sun, close your eyes, and feel the breeze on your face. Giving ourselves a moment of sensory intake can help us shift from a reactive state to a responsive one. In coaching sessions, I invite my clients to start our session with a brief centering exercise. I find it helps to settle both of us into the session and leave the busyness of the day behind. Below is my favorite centering exercise, inspired by Dr. Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 breath. Dr. Weil says this breathing exercise is the “perfect, portable stress antidote, as it puts the practitioner in a relaxed state almost immediately.” Centering Exercise
My question for you: if you notice yourself feeling stressed, try the above breathing exercise or another form of body awareness such as a short meditation. How do you feel afterward? Could this be a tool to help increase your presence? See you soon. If you like this post you may like the post Boost Your Focus by Understanding Your Brain. RESOURCES: “How Mindfulness Changes Your Brain with Prof. Norman Farb”, School of Becoming “Breathing Exercise: 4-7-8 Breath”, Andrew Weil, M.D. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction MBSR was developed at the Stress Reduction Clinic at UMass Medical Center by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Classes are widely available online. If you’re ready to discover the power of coaching schedule a complimentary Clarity Call today.
Image: Lukasz Szmigiel Unsplash When was the last time you felt really listened to? So often in conversation, we want to ‘get to the point’, but an important concept we learn as coaches is to set aside our inner ‘expert’ or ‘fixer’’ and listen with curiosity. It’s a skill that takes some development (and is always a work in progress), but one that can take you to a place of mental quiet. I find when I am listening deeply to someone, I can access an intuition that isn’t present at other times. This intuition can guide my questions and open up new awareness for my clients. Listening deeply helps us bring curiosity into a conversation. When we assume we don't know the answers, we can be curious about what’s really at play in a given situation. Often the story that a client is telling themselves is only partly true. Working together, we can uncover things that may lie beneath the surface. Are they getting stuck in a loop of thinking that’s stopping them from moving forward? Is there a limiting belief about their abilities? It was a revelation to realize that in my capacity as a coach, I don’t have to be an expert. I just need to bring my curiosity and help the client find the expertise within themselves. Natural curiosity elicits open questions, which help people get curious about their own experience and can lead to new awareness and aha moments that inspire them on the path to change. In that spirit, rather than seeing myself as an expert, I see myself as a student along with you. Together we are learning from and sharing with each other. I invite you to explore my upcoming blog posts sharing the coaching concepts that have opened new awareness for me. My question for you: Experiment with reserving judgment and instead bring curiosity into your conversations. How does it change the interaction? See you soon. If you like this post you may like the post Learn How to Hack your Brain with your Body. Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
Image: Lex Melony Unsplash Since 2010, I have been helping people create spaces in their homes and businesses that are functional and beautiful — and it’s been a joy! My clients are amazing and I love supporting them in my role as a professional organizer. However, at some point, I realized that to truly help my clients, we needed to move beyond dealing with just the physical ‘stuff’ in their lives. I saw patterns of behavior that were working against them but I didn’t know how to help. Then came Covid, and for the first time in ages, I had time on my hands. On a whim in 2020, I took an eight-week coaching class designed for professional organizers. It was life-changing! By the end of that class, I knew coaching was in my future. It connected the dots between our mindset and the actions we take and gave me a new framework for working with clients. For the last three years, I have worked toward the goal of becoming a certified coach. This has involved 90+ training hours, 150+ coaching hours, assessments, recorded calls, mentoring, tests, and more. In February of 2024, I became an Associate Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation (ICF). I now incorporate coaching into all the work I do with clients and am amazed at the profound impact it can have on people's lives. I currently split my time between on-site organizing work in San Francisco and coaching work with people all over the world. I genuinely love supporting people in these different ways! Becoming a coach put me on a path that has opened up my world and I’m excited to share some of what I have learned with you. I invite you to explore my upcoming blog posts, with the hope that they will open something up for you as well. Coaching values curiosity, and I’m wondering — Has something in your world opened you up recently? How has this changed you? How have you grown? See you soon! If you like this post you may like the post Why Consider Coaching? Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
Image: Mark Basarab Unsplash Julia came to coaching looking for the next step in her career. She had been at her current job for over a decade, but didn’t love her work environment and was trying to decide if she was ready for a change. Over the course of working together, we explored her strengths, what she liked about her current work, and what was missing. In looking at these things, she started to envision what her future could be and how to get there. We brainstormed ways to get her out of her comfort zone, how to reframe her negative self-talk, and who could support her in this transition. Action steps followed and she was on her way. When I spoke to Julia a few months later she had landed her new job and was delighted at how things had worked out. Julia’s example shows some of the challenges my clients come to coaching with, such as:
By focusing on gaining clarity, strengths, and perspectives, coaching helps clients to:
If you need a little clarity on your next step, reach out and schedule a Coaching Clarity Call today. My question for you: Is there an area in your life that you would like to bring clarity to? Envision yourself in front of a rope bridge spanning a canyon. Each step you take brings you closer to your goal on the other side of the canyon. What is one first step you can take today? See you soon. If you like this post you may like the post How I Fell for Coaching. Names and identifying details have been changed for privacy. If you're new to coaching and not sure if it's right for you, take the free, quick Coachability Self Test to determine if coaching with me is a fit for you at this time.
Image: Alessio Soggetti from Unsplash “I just can’t seem to focus and get my work done!” “I feel so scattered right now.” “I don’t even know what I did today.” Sound familiar? Clients often come to me with challenges of time and productivity. They’re frustrated with themselves and feel that they can’t get their stuff done. This view comes with a heavy dose of self-judgment and often completely glosses over all they are doing. However, when I hear challenges of focus and time mentioned repeatedly, I get curious about possible neurodiversity. Merriam-Webster defines neurodiversity as "Individual differences in brain functioning regarded as normal variations within the human population." The coaching program I graduated from, Coach Approach Training, was founded by two amazing coaches Denslow Brown and Cameron Gott, who also happen to have ADHD. Neurodiversity awareness and education is built into every part of the program and is foundational to the way Coach Approach graduates work with their clients. When we speak of neurodiversity we can be referring to ADHD and executive function challenge as well as other brain-based differences, but even if you don’t identify as neurodiverse, we can all benefit from understanding our brains better. To be clear, I am not a mental health professional or physician and do not diagnose clients. My goal in discussing possible neurodiversity with clients is to help them get curious about their brains and how their wiring may be impacting their experience. When we bring curiosity to our experience, we start to build awareness around the things that will set us up for success such as:
My question for you: Are you curious if ADHD is at play in your life? If so, I highly recommend checking out the resources below. See you soon! If you like this post you may like the post Learn How to Hack your Brain with your Body. ADHD RESOURCES: Translating ADHD Podcast - I like this episode about the barriers to journey thinking. This is a great podcast created by two ADHD coaches (who also have ADHD). Cam happens to be my mentor coach and teacher. I recommend starting around episode 185 where they do a series of shows about ADHD and the coaching process. This podcast can help supercharge your learning as a coaching client! ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association ADDA is a community and resource for adults with ADHD. It has many facilitated support groups for all kinds of adults with ADHD. Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
Image: Jeremy Thomas from Unsplash Before I started training as a coach, I thought life coaching was for other people, but not for me. It all felt vaguely indulgent for people with too much time on their hands. On a whim in 2020, I took an eight-week coaching class and I finally grasped how powerful it can be to have a reflective and focused conversation with someone who holds your goals. I was hooked. Over the last three years, I have moved steadily through courses focusing on strengths coaching, brain-based coaching, ADHD coaching, and body-based coaching, and I have loved it all! Now I see coaching as an important tool for growth, self-awareness, and action. It has helped me move toward my passions and through the inevitable bumps that come along the way. I have worked with many coaches over the last few years and benefited greatly from these amazing people. Coaching has helped me to do things such as:
My question for you: Is there an area in your life that you’re feeling ready to explore and bring new awareness to? How can you cultivate curiosity this week in this area? See you soon! If you like this post you may like the post My Journey from Organizing to Coaching. If you’re ready to discover the power of coaching schedule a complimentary Clarity Call today.
Clients often reach out for support at times of transition in their lives. Life has gotten more complicated because of a move, a new job, or a health challenge. Old ways of doing things just don’t seem to be cutting it anymore, and they can’t quite put their finger on what needs to change. They’re feeling stuck and overwhelmed, and they reach out for support. A period of transition can be an ideal time to work with a coach. Together we can find your untapped resources and strengthen your self-care, so you become responsive instead of reactive in the face of challenges. We can uncover your larger goals in life and help you work toward reaching them instead of just putting out fires. For coaching to be productive, it’s important to be open to learning more about yourself and having reflective conversations. We aim to set aside self-judgment and bring curiosity to your experience. The topics we can cover are endless, but here are a few ideas to consider:
Through our conversations, we’re looking for your insights and uncovering your expertise about yourself. At first it may sound strange, but your answers are much more powerful and profound, and more relevant to your life, than my suggestions (neuroscience backs this up). Working together, we can uncover the answers and actions that will help you. We all get stuck at times and working with a coach is a great way to move forward. You can read more about my coaching process here. My questions for you: Is there a goal that you are trying to reach that you can’t seem to make progress on? Where do you feel stuck? Is there just one action you can take this week to move the needle? See you soon. If you like this post you may like the post How I Fell for Coaching. If you're new to coaching and not sure if it's right for you, take the free, quick Coachability Self Test is to determine if coaching with me is a fit for you at this time.
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