 Most of my career has involved fixing things. As a graphic designer, I solved creative problems for my clients, creating signage that clarified a shopping experience or packaging that communicated information about a product. As a professional organizer, I have done even more fixing, helping my clients create a functional closet space or filing system. It feels good to solve a problem and I love doing this with clients. I always assumed that fixing problems was in my job description. So when I was introduced to the concept of NCRW in the first coaching class I took, it rocked my assumptions. NCRW is the idea that our clients are Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole. This concept accepts that people are inherently creative and, with support, have the resources within themselves to solve their challenges. They are not broken, not a problem to be fixed. They are whole in this moment, just as they are. NCRW is a revolutionary concept and the one that I and many of my classmates felt led to the single biggest shift in our thinking during the eight-week class. Of course, NCRW applies not just to clients, but to everyone in our lives, including ourselves. When I was introduced to NCRW, it challenged my assumption that to help people something had to be “fixed.” I started seeing how I was trying to “fix” everything and everyone. I always thought I had a better way, a more useful tool, and a better answer. Wow. It was humbling to realize that prior to coaching, I did not view myself or others as NCRW, I was in constant fix-it mode. To be an effective coach, it’s important to put aside the role of being a fixer and be present with your client. The client is in charge of the agenda, and the coach's role is to help them discover their strengths, passions, and motivations to create a more fulfilling life. Yes, we look at challenges, but we don’t dwell there. This approach is not about fixing something broken, but rather about helping the client create a life that fits. Embracing the concept of NCRW has been liberating both professionally and personally. My question for you: How does it feel to try on the idea of being Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole? We so often focus on our flaws. Can you embrace that you are OK in this moment, imperfections and all? If you like this post then you may like What Coaching Is and Is Not.  Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
 Image: Jordan Sanchez Unsplash "Will you help me with my to-do list?" “Are you going to give me tips and tricks?” "Can't you just tell me what to do?" These are some of the questions I get asked when I tell people I'm a coach. Coaching is a word that is used in a lot of different ways — there can be sports coaches, voice coaches, and life coaches — to name a few. As you can imagine, they all do very different things! Coaching is also often confused with other modalities like therapy, consulting, teaching, counseling, or mentoring. However, it's distinct from all of them. The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as "Partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. Coaches honor the client as the expert in his or her life and work and believe every client is creative, resourceful and whole." Coaching IS an equal partnership between the coach and the client, based on an open dialogue and a commitment to growth. Coaching is present and forward-focused, and engaged in finding the client's expertise about themselves. Through working with a coach, clients can develop self-awareness, look at the perspectives they hold, and embark on a supported journey of change. It's an opportunity to explore and ignite one's superpowers. Coaching IS NOT giving advice, taking the lead, or being the expert. I don't take clients through a predetermined program. We create change by getting curious about what is and isn’t working, focusing on strengths, and building self-awareness. Yes, we will likely look at your to-do list, your schedule, and your focus challenges, but we also get grounded in your values, needs, and goals. What Coaching IS: An equal partnership Present and future-focused An opportunity for greater self-awareness Focused on growth and action Supportive accountability Individualized for each client What Coaching IS NOT: Coaching is not therapy Coaching is not mentoring Coaching is not consulting Coaching is not counseling Coaching is not prescriptive It's not advice-giving To better understand how coaching differs from other learning modalities take a look at this document Coaching vs. Training from fellow coach Casey Moore. If you're new to coaching and unsure if it's right for you, take the free, quick Coachability Self-Test to determine if coaching is a fit for you at this time. If you like this post then you may like The Power of Envisioning Your Future. See you soon.  If you’re ready to discover the power of coaching schedule a complimentary Clarity Call today.
 Image: Jade Stephens Unsplash Have you ever developed mastery in a skill or subject and thought “Wow, I can't believe I can do this now!” Whether it’s learning French, mastering a martial art, baking the perfect sourdough loaf, or gaining a new job skill, expertise is an amazing feeling. But how did you get there? Through my coach training, I found that the journey from novice to expert is called The Four Stages of Competence. This concept was developed by Noel Burch at Gordon Training International in the ’70s and still rings true today — we go through four stages to achieve mastery of a new skill. These stages are: Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence (Ignorance) When we begin to learn a new skill, we often start from a state of unconscious incompetence. At this stage, we lack knowledge about the skill, and we may not even be aware of our lack of knowledge. The motto for this stage is "You don't know what you don't know.” Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence (Awareness) We now have some knowledge about our need for more skills. We are also conscious that there is much we need to learn before mastery is achieved. Stage 3: Conscious Competence (Learning) Through actively learning, we now know how to do the desired skill but it requires practice and effort. Stage 4: Unconscious Competence (Mastery) In this stage, the skill is now easy for us to perform and can be done unconsciously and without much effort.  So how do these stages work? Think about learning to drive. We start with having no idea of the many rules and skills involved in driving. Then, we take drivers’ ed and start to understand how much there is to learn. When we’re first behind the wheel, our driving requires great effort and attention. As our experience grows, driving becomes second nature. I relate to these four stages of learning in many areas of my life. I love to paint with watercolors, for example, but even after many years, I feel that I am solidly in Stage 2, Conscious Incompetence. I marvel at others’ ability to paint with beauty and ease. How does this concept relate to coaching? Suppose you want to focus on greater health, and getting more sleep is at the top of your list. Stage 1: In the unconscious incompetence stage, you may be aware that you’re not feeling rested in the morning, but haven’t given much thought to the cause. Stage 2: In the conscious incompetence stage, you start to get educated about all the many factors that impact your sleep such as caffeine, morning and evening light, stress, and exercise. Stage 3: In the conscious competence stage you, begin to put this knowledge into action, trying out different strategies to improve your sleep and create better habits. Stage 4: In the unconscious competence stage, your new habits are now ingrained. When you have a poor night's sleep, you can review all that you know about your sleep to help get you back on track. Learning new skills and changing habits is a lifelong journey that may seem daunting initially, but even small changes can yield big results. The first step is developing awareness of the knowledge gap. That’s where coaching can help. My question for you: Is there an area of your life where you can’t seem to find traction? Is there a knowledge gap? Where could you get some education to start building your competence? If you like this post then you may like How to Hack your Brain with your Body. See you soon.  Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
 Image: Lili Popper Unsplash Kim came to coaching struggling to move forward on her new business. She had a big deadline in a few months, and she wasn’t making the progress she'd hoped for. Diagnosed with ADHD many years ago, she had a history of struggling with deadlines. She often waited until the last minute to get things done, creating an exhausting dash to the finish line. Doubt and self-judgment surfaced whenever she thought of meeting this new deadline and she felt she was going in circles. Wanting to do things differently, she reached out for support. Together, Kim and I looked at her passion and sense of purpose for her new business. She expressed that meeting this deadline was a step toward growing her business and helping others through her work. We looked at how her ADHD and self-judgment were showing up in the situation and explored ways to boost her self-care. Talking through the challenges helped Kim get clear on the steps she needed to take to meet her deadline. Armed with new self-awareness, Kim turned the fuzzy parts of her big project into actionable steps. She was able to use the perspective of her “future self” as motivation for meeting smaller deadlines in the present. This set her up for success in meeting her larger goal. How can you tap into your future self? Let’s say you have an important meeting coming up that you want to be ready for, but you haven't completed your work. Imagine yourself arriving at this meeting feeling calm and prepared. What have you done to get yourself to that place? Get specific, break it down. When can you plan to do this work before the meeting? How long will it take? Be sure to build in extra time. Put this time on your schedule and protect it. When the time comes to do these tasks, imagine your future self arriving at the meeting prepared, and use this as fuel to work on these tasks and to see them through. The excellent cognitive behavior-based podcast A Slight Change of Plans has an episode about exactly this idea called Your Future Self Needs Your Help Today. Kim’s example shows some of the challenges clients come to coaching with:
By focusing on strengths and goals, we build in strong motivation that’s based on the things you care about. With this new perspective you can:
If you like this post then you may like How I Fell For Coaching. See you soon. RESOURCE: A Slight Change of Plans podcast with Dr. Maya Shankar This is one of my favorite podcasts! It blends neuroscience, behavioral change, and storytelling. The episode Your Future Self Needs Your Help Today is all about using the motivation of your future self to get into action today. Names and identifying details have been changed for privacy.  Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
 Image: Corina Ardeleanu Unsplash Our bodies are sending us signals all the time. Whether it's butterflies in our stomach or a racing heart, our body is communicating with us. Often the last thing we want to do is listen. But as it turns out, listening to our bodies is one of the best things we can do for our well-being. THE NARRATIVE SELF Who are we? We all have a story about our lives that we tell ourselves. This story is ongoing, and often all-consuming, but something we barely notice. It can bring us joy or pain, happiness or sadness. But whatever the story is, it affects how we perceive our reality. It turns out this “story of us” narrative thinking takes place in a specific area of the brain called the Default Mode Network. The neural imaging research of Prof. Norman Farb shows us that when we are thinking of things related to “ourselves”, it lights up an area down the center line of our brains. These areas of narrative thinking are the part of the brain that is “on” by default. This is our automatic thinking - the stuff we don’t even notice. This is also the place where things such as negative and positive self-talk occur. We could call this thinking our constructed identity or ego. Research shows us that at the same time that our automatic thinking is “on”, another part of the brain is actively being suppressed. This is the physical-sensory part of the brain. When we are engaged in automatic thinking, we are actively suppressing physical sensory information. THE EXPERIENTIAL SELF Is there another way to relate to our existence? Yes, it’s called the experiential mode. Prof. Farb scanned research subjects both before and after taking an eight-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) class. In these classes, participants were given 20 hours of mindfulness training, much of it based on sitting in physical sensory experience. When participants' brains were scanned after the eight-week class, these subjects showed the ability to “turn down” the volume in the automatic, narrative area of the brain. They were simultaneously able to “turn up” the volume on the parts of the brain associated with momentary sensory experience. In other words, they could stay in a place of sensory intake longer, and sit in their physical experience without getting sucked back into their story. WHY DOES IT MATTER? Is one mode of thinking better for us than the other? Prof. Farb’s research shows that being in a place of sensory intake helped people relate to their experience in a more flexible way. As he stated, it helps us see that “the perspective you are holding is just one of many options… being able to shift between two ways of perceiving a situation is a game-changer.” In his research on depression, he found that people with the MBSR training were able to interrupt negative narratives and not wholly buy into them. They stopped telling the story long enough to question it and remember there are other ways of thinking about their experience. In neural imaging, he found that people who have depression are blocking out the sensory information coming from their bodies and instead focusing on the narrative story. In short, we can improve our emotional health and well-being by training ourselves to sit with physical sensations.  What does this all mean for coaching? Helping clients to get out of “the story in their head” and into “the sensation in their bodies” can be enormously beneficial to their well-being. By giving clients tools that promote body-centered mindfulness, coaches can help them access greater flexibility of thinking, curiosity about their experience, and the capacity to sit with uncomfortable feelings. Dr. Farb’s research subjects took an eight-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) class, but we can start with a simpler practice — a short (two-minute!) meditation with your phone or fitness tracker. If you want to be tech-free, sit in the sun, close your eyes, and feel the breeze on your face. Giving ourselves a moment of sensory intake can help us shift from a reactive state to a responsive one. Being able to shift our perspective is important in coaching, and it's wonderful to know that our bodies can help us create this opening for change. My question for you: If you notice yourself feeling stressed, try the below centering exercise or another form of body awareness such as a short meditation. How do you feel afterward? Could this be a tool to help increase your presence? See you soon. For more on mindfulness see My Favorite Centering Exercise. RESOURCES: “How Mindfulness Changes Your Brain with Prof. Norman Farb”, School of Becoming Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction MBSR was developed at the Stress Reduction Clinic at UMass Medical Center by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Classes are widely available online. Ten Percent Happier Podcast This is a wonderful educational podcast created by Dan Harris. I love that Dan approaches each mindfulness idea as both a believer and a skeptic. Give it a listen! Tara Brach Podcast Tara Brach is a meditation teacher and author who shares her talks and guided meditations through her podcast. With her relaxing voice, humor, and plenty of wisdom, these are the perfect evening guided meditations.  If you’re ready to discover the power of coaching schedule a complimentary Clarity Call today.
In coaching sessions, I invite my clients to start our session with a brief centering exercise. I find it helps to settle both of us into the session and leave the busyness of the day behind. Below is my favorite centering exercise, inspired by Dr. Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 breath. Dr. Weil says this breathing exercise is the “perfect, portable stress antidote, as it puts the practitioner in a relaxed state almost immediately.”
MINDFULNESS RESOURCES:
“Breathing Exercise: 4-7-8 Breath”, Andrew Weil, M.D. Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction MBSR was developed at the Stress Reduction Clinic at UMass Medical Center by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Classes are widely available online. Ten Percent Happier Podcast This is a wonderful educational podcast created by Dan Harris. I love that Dan approaches each mindfulness idea as both a believer and a skeptic. Give it a listen! Tara Brach Podcast Tara Brach is a meditation teacher and author who shares her talks and guided meditations through her podcast. With a relaxing voice, plenty of wisdom, and humor, I find these to be the perfect evening guided meditation.  Image: Lukasz Szmigiel Unsplash When was the last time you felt really listened to? So often in conversation, we want to ‘get to the point’, but an important concept we learn as coaches is to set aside our inner ‘expert’ or ‘fixer’’ and listen with curiosity. It’s a skill that takes some development (and is always a work in progress), but one that can take you to a place of mental quiet. I find when I am listening deeply to someone, I can access an intuition that isn’t present at other times. This intuition can guide my questions and open up new awareness for my clients. Listening deeply helps us bring curiosity into a conversation. When we assume we don't know the answers, we can be curious about what’s really at play in a given situation. Often the story that a client is telling themselves is only partly true. Working together, we can uncover things that may lie beneath the surface. Are they getting stuck in a loop of thinking that’s stopping them from moving forward? Is there a limiting belief about their abilities? It was a revelation to realize that in my capacity as a coach, I don’t have to be an expert. I just need to bring my curiosity and help the client find the expertise within themselves. Natural curiosity elicits open questions, which help people get curious about their own experience and can lead to new awareness and aha moments that inspire them on the path to change. In that spirit, rather than seeing myself as an expert, I see myself as a student along with you. Together we are learning from and sharing with each other. I invite you to explore my upcoming blog posts sharing the coaching concepts that have opened new awareness for me. My question for you: Experiment with reserving judgment and instead bring curiosity into your conversations. How does it change the interaction? See you soon. If you like this post you may like the post Learn How to Hack your Brain with your Body.  Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
 Image: Lex Melony Unsplash Since 2010, I have been helping people create spaces in their homes and businesses that are functional and beautiful — and it’s been a joy! My clients are amazing and I love supporting them in my role as a professional organizer. However, at some point, I realized that to truly help my clients, we needed to move beyond dealing with just the physical ‘stuff’ in their lives. I saw patterns of behavior that were working against them but I didn’t know how to help. Then came Covid, and for the first time in ages, I had time on my hands. On a whim in 2020, I took an eight-week coaching class designed for professional organizers. It was life-changing! By the end of that class, I knew coaching was in my future. It connected the dots between our mindset and the actions we take and gave me a new framework for working with clients. For the last three years, I have worked toward the goal of becoming a certified coach. This has involved 90+ training hours, 150+ coaching hours, assessments, recorded calls, mentoring, tests, and more. In February of 2024, I became an Associate Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation (ICF). I now incorporate coaching into all the work I do with clients and am amazed at the profound impact it can have on people's lives. I currently split my time between on-site organizing work in San Francisco and coaching work with people all over the world. I genuinely love supporting people in these different ways! Becoming a coach put me on a path that has opened up my world and I’m excited to share some of what I have learned with you. I invite you to explore my upcoming blog posts, with the hope that they will open something up for you as well. Coaching values curiosity, and I’m wondering — Has something in your world opened you up recently? How has this changed you? How have you grown? See you soon! If you like this post you may like the post Why Consider Coaching?  Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
 Image: Mark Basarab Unsplash Julia came to coaching looking for the next step in her career. She had been at her current job for over a decade, but didn’t love her work environment and was trying to decide if she was ready for a change. Over the course of working together, we explored her strengths, what she liked about her current work, and what was missing. In looking at these things, she started to envision what her future could be and how to get there. We brainstormed ways to get her out of her comfort zone, how to reframe her negative self-talk, and who could support her in this transition. Action steps followed and she was on her way. When I spoke to Julia a few months later she had landed her new job and was delighted at how things had worked out. Julia’s example shows some of the challenges my clients come to coaching with, such as:
By focusing on gaining clarity, strengths, and perspectives, coaching helps clients to:
If you need a little clarity on your next step, reach out and schedule a Coaching Clarity Call today. My question for you: Is there an area in your life that you would like to bring clarity to? Envision yourself in front of a rope bridge spanning a canyon. Each step you take brings you closer to your goal on the other side of the canyon. What is one first step you can take today? See you soon. If you like this post you may like the post How I Fell for Coaching. Names and identifying details have been changed for privacy.  If you're new to coaching and not sure if it's right for you, take the free, quick Coachability Self Test to determine if coaching with me is a fit for you at this time.
 Image: Alessio Soggetti from Unsplash “I just can’t seem to focus and get my work done!” “I feel so scattered right now.” “I don’t even know what I did today.” Sound familiar? Clients often come to me with challenges of time and productivity. They’re frustrated with themselves and feel that they can’t get their stuff done. This view comes with a heavy dose of self-judgment and often completely glosses over all they are doing. However, when I hear challenges of focus and time mentioned repeatedly, I get curious about possible neurodiversity. Merriam-Webster defines neurodiversity as "Individual differences in brain functioning regarded as normal variations within the human population." The coaching program I graduated from, Coach Approach Training, was founded by two amazing coaches Denslow Brown and Cameron Gott, who also happen to have ADHD. Neurodiversity awareness and education is built into every part of the program and is foundational to the way Coach Approach graduates work with their clients. When we speak of neurodiversity we can be referring to ADHD and executive function challenge as well as other brain-based differences, but even if you don’t identify as neurodiverse, we can all benefit from understanding our brains better. To be clear, I am not a mental health professional or physician and do not diagnose clients. My goal in discussing possible neurodiversity with clients is to help them get curious about their brains and how their wiring may be impacting their experience. When we bring curiosity to our experience, we start to build awareness around the things that will set us up for success such as:
My question for you: Are you curious if ADHD is at play in your life? If so, I highly recommend checking out the resources below. See you soon! If you like this post you may like the post Learn How to Hack your Brain with your Body. ADHD RESOURCES: Translating ADHD Podcast - I like this episode about the barriers to journey thinking. This is a great podcast created by two ADHD coaches (who also have ADHD). Cam happens to be my mentor coach and teacher. I recommend starting around episode 185 where they do a series of shows about ADHD and the coaching process. This podcast can help supercharge your learning as a coaching client! ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association ADDA is a community and resource for adults with ADHD. It has many facilitated support groups for all kinds of adults with ADHD.  Don't miss my newsletter, Find Your Focus. It’s full of useful and practical ways to bridge the gap between knowing and doing to help you reach your goals. Newsletter subscribers also receive special discounts and first access to upcoming group coaching offers and memberships.
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