Kim came to coaching struggling to move forward on her new business. She had a big deadline in a few months, and she wasn’t making the progress she'd hoped for. Diagnosed with ADHD many years ago, she had a history of struggling with deadlines. She often waited until the last minute to get things done, creating an exhausting dash to the finish line. Doubt and self-judgment surfaced whenever she thought of meeting this new deadline and she felt she was going in circles. Wanting to do things differently, she reached out for support.

Together, Kim and I looked at her passion and sense of purpose for her new business. She expressed that meeting this deadline was a step toward growing her business and helping others through her work. We looked at how her ADHD and self-judgment were showing up in the situation and explored ways to boost her self-care. 

Talking through the challenges helped Kim get clear on the steps she needed to take to meet her deadline. Armed with new self-awareness, Kim turned the fuzzy parts of her big project into actionable steps. She was able to use the perspective of her “future self” as motivation for meeting smaller deadlines in the present. This set her up for success in meeting her larger goal.

How can you tap into your future self? Let’s say you have an important meeting coming up that you want to be ready for, but you haven't completed your work. Imagine yourself arriving at this meeting feeling calm and prepared. What have you done to get yourself to that place? Get specific, break it down. When can you plan to do this work before the meeting? How long will it take? Be sure to build in extra time. Put this time on your schedule and protect it. When the time comes to do these tasks, imagine your future self arriving at the meeting prepared, and use this as fuel to work on these tasks and to see them through.  The excellent cognitive behavior-based podcast A Slight Change of Plans has an episode about exactly this idea called Your Future Self Needs Your Help Today. 
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Kim’s example shows some of the challenges clients come to coaching with:

• A lack of clarity: They know that how they are approaching something isn’t working, but aren’t sure what change to make.
• Strong self-judgment: By focusing on all their perceived past “failures,” they allow their strong judge to run away with the story.
• Lack of self-care: Ignoring self-care and the messages our bodies are giving us can send us in loops of self-doubt. 

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By focusing on strengths and goals, we build in strong motivation that’s based on the things you care about. With this new perspective you can:

• Get fired up by your goals and dreams: We always start with looking at your values and needs. These core parts of you surface frequently through our coaching and can help build the fire you need to push through challenges.
• Move forward with accurate information: You have many strengths and a long line of successes — let's uncover and celebrate them! How can we use these strengths to your advantage?
• Develop curiosity accountability:  Many clients come to coaching to be held accountable for their actions. I find it’s best to bring curiosity into our accountability. When we look at how your week went (and if your actions got the result you hoped for) we have new learning to take forward. 
  
  

My question for you: Is there a way to tap into your future self right now? How will your future self feel if you do that thing you’ve been meaning to do? How can you set your future self up for success right now?

If you like this post then you may like How I Fell For Coaching.

See you soon.

RESOURCE:
A Slight Change of Plans podcast with Dr. Maya Shankar 
This is one of my favorite podcasts! It blends neuroscience, behavioral change, and storytelling. The episode Your Future Self Needs Your Help Today is all about using the motivation of your future self to get into action today.

Names and identifying details have been changed for privacy.

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Our bodies are sending us signals all the time. Whether it's butterflies in our stomach or a racing heart, our body is communicating with us. Often the last thing we want to do is listen. But as it turns out, listening to our bodies is one of the best things we can do for our well-being.

THE NARRATIVE SELF
Who are we? We all have a story about our lives that we tell ourselves. This story is ongoing, and often all-consuming, but something we barely notice. It can bring us joy or pain, happiness or sadness. But whatever the story is, it affects how we perceive our reality. 

It turns out this “story of us” narrative thinking takes place in a specific area of the brain called the Default Mode Network. The neural imaging research of Prof. Norman Farb shows us that when we are thinking of things related to “ourselves”, it lights up an area down the center line of our brains. These areas of narrative thinking are the part of the brain that is “on” by default. This is our automatic thinking - the stuff we don’t even notice. This is also the place where things such as negative and positive self-talk occur. We could call this thinking our constructed identity or ego. 

Research shows us that at the same time that our automatic thinking is “on”, another part of the brain is actively being suppressed. This is the physical-sensory part of the brain. When we are engaged in automatic thinking, we are actively suppressing physical sensory information. 

THE EXPERIENTIAL SELF
Is there another way to relate to our existence? Yes, it’s called the experiential mode. Prof. Farb scanned research subjects both before and after taking an eight-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) class. In these classes, participants were given 20 hours of mindfulness training, much of it based on sitting in physical sensory experience. 

When participants' brains were scanned after the eight-week class, these subjects showed the ability to “turn down” the volume in the automatic, narrative area of the brain. They were simultaneously able to “turn up” the volume on the parts of the brain associated with momentary sensory experience. In other words, they could stay in a place of sensory intake longer, and sit in their physical experience without getting sucked back into their story. 

WHY DOES IT MATTER?
Is one mode of thinking better for us than the other? Prof. Farb’s research shows that being in a place of sensory intake helped people relate to their experience in a more flexible way. As he stated, it helps us see that “the perspective you are holding is just one of many options… being able to shift between two ways of perceiving a situation is a game-changer.”

In his research on depression, he found that people with the MBSR training were able to interrupt negative narratives and not wholly buy into them. They stopped telling the story long enough to question it and remember there are other ways of thinking about their experience. In neural imaging, he found that people who have depression are blocking out the sensory information coming from their bodies and instead focusing on the narrative story. In short, we can improve our emotional health and well-being by training ourselves to sit with physical sensations.

​RESOURCES:
“How Mindfulness Changes Your Brain with Prof. Norman Farb”, ​School of Becoming

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
MBSR was developed at the Stress Reduction Clinic at UMass Medical Center by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Classes are widely available online.

Ten Percent Happier Podcast
This is a wonderful educational podcast created by Dan Harris. I love that Dan approaches each mindfulness idea as both a believer and a skeptic. Give it a listen!
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Tara Brach Podcast
Tara Brach is a meditation teacher and author who shares her talks and guided meditations through her podcast. With her relaxing voice, humor, and plenty of wisdom, these are the perfect
evening guided meditations.

In coaching sessions, I invite my clients to start our session with a brief centering exercise. I find it helps to settle both of us into the session and leave the busyness of the day behind.

Below is my favorite centering exercise, inspired by Dr. Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 breath. Dr. Weil says this breathing exercise is the “perfect, portable stress antidote, as it puts the practitioner in a relaxed state almost immediately.” 

• Close your eyes and settle into your space. Feel your body heavy on your seat. Feel your shoulders relax and arrive in this present moment.
• We are going to take two long breaths in, hold them, and release them.
• Breathe in (several seconds)…   hold (several seconds)…   breathe out (several seconds). Repeat.

MINDFULNESS RESOURCES:
“Breathing Exercise: 4-7-8  Breath”, Andrew Weil, M.D.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction
MBSR was developed at the Stress Reduction Clinic at UMass Medical Center by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Classes are widely available online.

Ten Percent Happier Podcast
This is a wonderful educational podcast created by Dan Harris. I love that Dan approaches each mindfulness idea as both a believer and a skeptic. Give it a listen!

Tara Brach Podcast
Tara Brach is a meditation teacher and author who shares her talks and guided meditations through her podcast. With a relaxing voice, plenty of wisdom, and humor, I find these to be the perfect evening guided meditation. ​