Finding Calm This Thanksgiving

The holiday season is kicking off for many of us, and it has me thinking about how to move through all the upcoming activity with more joy and gratitude. Thanksgiving invites us to slow down, connect, and appreciate the good in our lives—but it can also bring stress, expectations, and challenging interactions. Is there a way to enjoy the best of the holiday while leaving tension and disconnection at the door?

I don’t know about you, but when I get together with my beloved family, I can easily slip into a younger version of myself. Old patterns emerge, old grievances flare, and before long, my inner judge starts spinning negative stories that aren’t helpful—yet I still find myself believing them.

A recent Positive Intelligence (PQ) blog post captured this perfectly: “Analyzing, worrying, and spinning in a mental circle primarily activates the Survival Brain. The harder you think, the deeper you dig the hole of stress and anxiety. Your Saboteurs love to keep you stuck in this spiral.” What’s becoming increasingly clear to me is that the Survival Brain can’t think its way out of an emotional hijack—it only digs us in deeper. The fastest way out is to engage the part of the brain that’s resourceful, flexible, and present: what PQ calls the Sage.

The good news is that a few simple tools can help us return to groundedness, presence, and genuine gratitude—no matter what the holidays bring. As that same blog explains, “The way out is through a completely different approach: physical awareness.” The most foundational practice is the PQ Rep: a brief moment of nonjudgmental attention on a physical sensation—like the feeling the breeze on your face or the weight of your feet on the floor.

This 10-second exercise does two powerful things:

1. It interrupts the mental spiral and brings you fully back to the present moment.
2. It quiets the Survival Brain and activates the calmer, wiser part of yourself—your Sage.

Will a single 10-second practice save you every time a relative says something crazy-making? Probably not, but just like doing bicep curls builds stronger muscles, doing these short PQ Reps over time strengthens your ability to access the more resourceful part of yourself when you need it most. If you're interested in the science behind all of this, you can find it here.

So this Thanksgiving, let’s engage with each other with more ease, presence, and joy so we can truly appreciate one another. If you want to find out more, sign up for my newsletter to hear about upcoming workshops where we’ll explore these ideas more deeply!

​Happy Thanksgiving!
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