Updated: Sep 1
Embracing Curiosity and Deep Listening
When was the last time you felt really listened to? So often in conversation, we want to ‘get to the point’, but an important concept we learn as coaches is to set aside our inner ‘expert’ or ‘fixer’’ and listen with curiosity. It’s a skill that takes some development (and is always a work in progress), but one that can take you to a place of mental quiet. I find when I am listening deeply to someone, I can access an intuition that isn’t present at other times. This intuition can guide my questions and open up new awareness for my clients.
Listening deeply helps us bring curiosity into a conversation. When we assume we don't know the answers, we can be curious about what’s really at play in a given situation. Often the story that a client is telling themselves is only partly true. Working together, we can uncover things that may lie beneath the surface. Are they getting stuck in a loop of thinking that’s stopping them from moving forward? Is there a limiting belief about their abilities?
It was a revelation to realize that in my capacity as a coach, I don’t have to be an expert. I just need to bring my curiosity and help the client find the expertise within themselves. Natural curiosity elicits open questions, which help people get curious about their own experience and can lead to new awareness and aha moments that inspire them on the path to change.
In that spirit, rather than seeing myself as an expert, I see myself as a student along with you. Together we are learning from and sharing with each other. I invite you to explore my upcoming blog posts sharing the coaching concepts that have opened new awareness for me.
My question for you: Experiment with reserving judgment and instead bring curiosity into your conversations. How does it change the interaction?
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