 The holiday season is kicking off for many of us, and it has me thinking about how to move through all the upcoming activity with more joy and gratitude. Thanksgiving invites us to slow down, connect, and appreciate the good in our lives—but it can also bring stress, expectations, and challenging interactions. Is there a way to enjoy the best of the holiday while leaving tension and disconnection at the door? I don’t know about you, but when I get together with my beloved family, I can easily slip into a younger version of myself. Old patterns emerge, old grievances flare, and before long, my inner judge starts spinning negative stories that aren’t helpful—yet I still find myself believing them. A recent Positive Intelligence (PQ) blog post captured this perfectly: “Analyzing, worrying, and spinning in a mental circle primarily activates the Survival Brain. The harder you think, the deeper you dig the hole of stress and anxiety. Your Saboteurs love to keep you stuck in this spiral.” What’s becoming increasingly clear to me is that the Survival Brain can’t think its way out of an emotional hijack—it only digs us in deeper. The fastest way out is to engage the part of the brain that’s resourceful, flexible, and present: what PQ calls the Sage. The good news is that a few simple tools can help us return to groundedness, presence, and genuine gratitude—no matter what the holidays bring. As that same blog explains, “The way out is through a completely different approach: physical awareness.” The most foundational practice is the PQ Rep: a brief moment of nonjudgmental attention on a physical sensation—like the feeling the breeze on your face or the weight of your feet on the floor. This 10-second exercise does two powerful things:
Will a single 10-second practice save you every time a relative says something crazy-making? Probably not, but just like doing bicep curls builds stronger muscles, doing these short PQ Reps over time strengthens your ability to access the more resourceful part of yourself when you need it most. If you're interested in the science behind all of this, you can find it here. So this Thanksgiving, let’s engage with each other with more ease, presence, and joy so we can truly appreciate one another. If you want to find out more, sign up for my newsletter to hear about upcoming workshops where we’ll explore these ideas more deeply! Happy Thanksgiving!  Let’s continue our exploration of Denslow Brown’s Processing Modalities. If you need a refresher on this concept, read my previous post Discover Your Unique Modalities and How They Shape Your Perception. Today we look at the Emotional Modality which Brown describes as “Operating under the influence of feelings and connections to relationships, things, values, and causes.” EMOTIONAL: You could cut the tension with a knife. The feeling in the air was electric. The silence was deafening. Can you relate to these examples of picking up on others' emotions? Maybe you walk into a room and immediately sense the mood, or others seem to find your demeanor calming, or you always find yourself moved to tears at a certain song. If so, you may be considered gifted on Brown’s Processing Modality Strength Continuum. Emotionally gifted people may use their gifts as writers, actors, public speakers, or therapists. They keenly sense others' emotions and can connect to their audience. But as Brown says “These examples indicate gifted emotional understanding, and expression, but don’t necessarily reflect individual emotional maturity or health.” I think this is an important point. For those of us who can pick up on other's emotions, it's important to find healthy ways to process our own emotions and not take on the emotions of others as a way of supporting them. This has taken me a lifetime to learn! Being out of sync with our emotions can greatly affect our bodies. Whether it shows up as tension, restlessness, or fatigue, when we ignore how our mental state is impacting our physical body, we don't show up at our best and our performance and relationships suffer. Someone for whom the emotional modality is weak may be unable to detect the emotional state of others or this ability may be impaired. Those on the Autism spectrum or with conditions such as mood disorders may have a challenging time detecting their own or others' emotions.  The emotional modality also has variations in sensitivity. Some individuals may be extremely emotionally reactive and thrown into chaos by seemingly small events. This can lead to a cycle of overstimulation and exhaustion. For other individuals, they are unaware of - or unmoved by - the emotions of others, which may impact the level of connection they experience. Brown’s concept of the Processing Modality Sensitivity Continuum provides a framework for understanding these variations in sensitivity which range from hyposensitive (unaware) to competent to hypersensitive (very aware).  How do you relate to emotions? Do you fully feel your feelings when they come up, or do you shut them down? Do you love a good cry with a friend or run at the first tear? We can learn so much about our emotional state by paying attention to the sensations in our bodies, which is often the first clue that something is going on. When that tension shows up in your neck, or you feel the familiar urge to start scrolling through Instagram, take a moment to tap into the sensations in your body. Feel them fully for a few breaths then ask "What is needed in this moment to support my body and mind?" Learn about all nine Processing Modalities: VISUAL The Power of Sight: Engaging with Your Surroundings Using the Visual Modality AUDITORY The Art of Listening: How Sound and Silence Influence Our Productivity KINESTHETIC Build Focus with Movement: Understanding the Mind-Body Connection TACTILE Feeling the Difference: How Touch Affects Your Space and Mood TASTE & SMELL Elevate Your Workspace: Using Taste & Smell for a More Inspiring Environment VERBAL Verbal Processing Modalities: How Language Shapes Our Experience EMOTIONAL How Emotions Influence our Bodies and our Ability to Stay Focused COGNITIVE Knowing Your Mind: Navigating the Cognitive Modality INTUITIVE Cultivating Intuitive Knowing: Learning to Tap into Your Inner Wisdom © 2013 Denslow Brown. From the book, The Processing Modalities Guide by Denslow Brown Hickory Guild Press, 2012 $25 www.OrganizerCoach.com Ready to take action?
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